Its funny how being in a group affects you. When you want to do something that you would not do otherwise, there is this mysterious vigour and courage to pursue it when like-minded people come together. Maybe this is what they call synergy, which can be positive or otherwise. Whatever it was, I think I experienced it today, and for some reason am not feeling too good about it now.
There are certain principles in life that every individual has, and many a times opportunities present themselves, which beckon one to forego those principles that bind him. One such principle which I follow and have always followed, and that too ardently (until the last few days), is that of diplomacy. Yes, there is a section of people with whom I can afford to forget diplomacy, but in general I have believed in conducting myself with dignity in public.
Then what caused me to lose this poise and stoop so low? I have no idea, but when I was an accomplice in the deed, the longer I stayed accomplice, stronger this guilt presence seemed to get. By the end of it, I was averse to the idea of even performing the deed, but that tiny little inner part, which we often call "the devil's advocate," probably allowed me to think otherwise.
I admit I may have been wrong in being a part of it in the first place, but then admitting the mistake and recognizing it as a mistake is the first step in correcting it. I am sure all of us at some point of time or another, have made a mistake which we have gone on to repent in time. Maybe its a ritual every human is subjected to, that helps him strengthen his core principles in the first place. At least I know that now onwards I will not be losing the diplomacy which I had so tactfully betrayed over the last few days. Ultimately, the saying below is true, and experience is probably its best teacher:
"The true value of something hits us when we lose it..."
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